Personal Branding

This is the story of Tapasya, Meenakshi, Karan, Rajeev and Manish, caught in the web of complexities of life and emotions. Unfulfilled Love
Tapsaya and Meenakshi were two woman with completely different approach towards life, but their aspirations of life were same; "love".

While Tapasya could not fight her battle the way it should have been fought, Meenakshi fought her way to get whatever she wanted out of her life. Both of them couldn't take the decision on time when it needed to be and desired love which had all the markings of remaining unrequited due to being against the social norm. Both of them were ready to break the social norms, but Tapasya couldn't do so and Meenakshi did with all her strength.

In the end, Tapasya died a lonely death despite being surrounded by all her family members and Meenakshi lived a lonely life despite fighting and nearly getting what she wanted.

Love is complex. It has its own rules for everyone for every relationship. There is no template for love. One's story can't be repeated by other. Everyone has to fight his or her own battle, even for love. One has to decide what he or she wants out of this word 'love' and for what it is meant for one person and every other person of his or her life.

Manish thought he loved Meenakshi madly. But when he got engaged to her, he started missing his family members, who didn't accept Meenakshi in their family fold.

Rajeev loved Tapasya a lot, but he couldn't make Tapasya see what she meant to him. And when she realized and accepted, it was already too late and she just wanted her last wish to be fulfilled before closing her eyes.

Karan remained pragmatic in life but he had his own battles to fight.

In fact, life is complex and is has no template. Complexity and separate rules for everyone for everything is its only template.

There is always one internal narrative, which is always there with us. But it is tough identifying it despite feeling being one even after experiencing diversity of sensory experiences and our all goals, memories, emotions, actions, beliefs, and present awareness seems to cohere to form a single individual. Despite enormous number of distinct events punctuating our life, we feel continuity of identity through time-moment to moment, decade to decade.

I feel because at times, our commitment to withstand and grow strong beyond those enormous events, we face many anomalies which doesn't fit our 'big picture' belief system and our mind tries to smooth those anomalies and discrepancies in order to preserve the coherence of the self and stability of behavior. As our commitment and dedication to fight the anomalies and discrepancies keeps faltering, the smoothing and normalizing process keeps increasing, creating multiple distinct identities in our mind.

Our priority should be to face these anomalies and solve the problems and don't allow new identities to take shape in our mind. Not only it helps us to stay strong as a self, it gives us a strong internal narrative, which ultimately reflects in our social behavior.

Our emotions, like pride, arrogance, vanity, ambition, love, fear, mercy, jealousy, anger, hubris, humility, pity, self-pity etc. doesn't exist in social vacuum. All our emotions make sense only in relation to other people. It makes perfect evolutionary sense to feel grudges, gratitude, or bonhomie towards other people based on our shared interpersonal histories. We take into account that attribute the faculty of choice, or free will, to fellow social beings and apply our rich palette of social emotions to their actions on that basis. But we are so deeply hardwired for imputing things such as motive, intent, and culpability to the actions of others that we often overextend our social emotions to non-human, non-social objects or situations.

That's how it becomes very difficult but extremely important to create a coherent internal narrative. There are much more than enough things to distort it and damage us permanently. Building coherence in any activity, any narrative takes time. According to researcher Ms. Phillipa Lally, Psychology Researcher of University College, London, a public research university, a habit takes 66 days to set in and become automatic. According to her study, a new habit can be formed between 18 to 256 days, depending upon the interest, commitment and practice of the individual. So, for your reader to get habituated of you, it will take some time. That’s why self-awareness, commitment, dedication and consistency are very important.

In the time of conflict and fear due covid19 pandemic many people are on edge. They are seeing no light at the end of the tunnel. In this situation, it is well understood that mind goes to travel many places, often unpleasant one. But, that's not how life is to be lived in this difficult situation. Hormones related to stress, cortisol and adrenaline clogs the neural network and slows down the thinking process. Our behavior during conflict, fear and pain is quite obvious, though it is not desirable. 

There are steps to come out of it and they are: 

1) Acceptance: First and foremost action needed is to accept that present situation is not normal and not good. Our mind has many biases and heuristics, optimism and confirmation bias are two of them. If we don't accept the present situation and try to believe something else, then our mind will make us believe so and keep us forcing to confirm our created reality. 

You will ask that why does our mind create a new reality?

Our mind always has a ‘big picture’ of our life. Information arriving through our senses keeps getting merged into our pre- existing memories to confirm and sometime update our belief system about ourselves and the world. In the case of anomalous information which doesn’t fit our big picture, it tries to smooth the discrepancies and anomalies to preserve the coherence of self, our internal narrative and the ‘big picture’. Sometime it outrightly denies the situation, sometime rationalizes, sometime confabulates, sometime intellectualizes, so on and so forth but it does its best to protect the coherence of self and internal narrative. 

2) Live in present: The moment we create a new reality, mind becomes optimistic and starts confirming to this new reality. It automatically shifts the starting point of our journey. If starting point of our journey is not right, then how come end will be right? 

So, being aware of the present and staying in it is extremely important.

3) Mindfulness: There is more than enough written and spoken about mindfulness, so, I won’t go on to elaborate what it is and how it should be done. What I understand for my benefit is that mindfulness is keeping only those information in my mind which is necessary to move forward for my betterment. 

Our mind receives more than two hundred thousand times of information per second which it can process. You can very well imagine what would be its situation in just one day if it doesn’t filter most of the information out it receives. Our mind’s primary job is to protect the body it lives in and everything revolves around this core principle.

While a part of mind keeps doing its work to stop information overload, there has to be conscious effort to push away the information which are stopping the positive growth.

4) Remain alert: It is definite that post Covid19 world will not be the same. Every upheaval shakes up the old world order and creates new. While there are many defined steps which helps us to succeed in life, but one thing which often gets ignored and has rightfully elaborated by Malcolm Gladwell in his bestseller “Outliers” that grabbing the opportunity when it comes up goes a long way in determining the success of a person. So, if you don’t accept the reality, you are not living in present and have not pushed away the information which blocking your growth, how can you remain alert and if you are not alert, then how will you grab the opportunity when it comes knocking your door.

5) Make above four points a automatic habit: Every moment, billions of neurons in our mind connects with each other tens of thousand times, which can be excitatory or inhibitory and on or off, making permutation of all these numbers of possible brain states exceed number of elementary particles in the known universe. So, things are not simple as it seems. 

That’s why, we need to keep repeating the first four points and turn it into an automatic habit; then only, our growth and success will be remain sustainable and consistent.

Few days back, with someone feeble, I had a discussion on something. His words triggered anger in me. Before I could control, my anger became apparent through my words and behavior. More than his words, I didn't appreciate my behavior of losing control over myself. His words, though not favorable to me, were also not harmful for me.

Then why did I get angry:

May be because,

1) His words challenged my perceived position of thoughts and correctness.

2) I didn't like the way he talked and I took it as an effort to undermine my intellectual strength, superiority and position.

But was my anger justified?

I don't think so...

I am not intellectualizing this scenario.

Here are some of the reasons why we become angry:

 - Our perceived intellectual/spiritual/religious strength/superiority over others is challenged by someone's direct or implied behavior and action.

 - Our actual position on anything is challenged and undermined by someone's direct or implied behavior or action.

 - We or anyone close (actual and assumed- religious/sports/group/affiliation etc.) to us is threatened to be harmed or actually harmed by direct or implied behavior or action of someone. 

While last two points are not rarity, but there percentage in our anger outbursts are very limited. We often react/respond to perceptual positions of different parties, which has no strength and position to take our life in any direction, especially the negative, until and unless we make it take us there. 

I dedicated good amount of time to ponder over it and find what should I do in this situation and I got following answers: 

1) Don't embody the moment and actions which triggers anger; it is not the matter of your existence.

2) Don't define yourself with the moment; you are much bigger than that.  

3) Listen, analyse and appreciate, opposition's points, take few deep breath with smile and move away from the scene if you can do so. 

4) If you don't have the option to walk away , then listen and appreciate the points raised the your opposition, take few deep breath, remember point no. 1 and 2 and then answer in measured words.

5) When you are replied back, then folllw point no. 1,2 and 4. This may not be the correct way, but I have started following it. 

Please do write your feedback. 

 You may find this article also useful: How to succeed in the time of conflict

This ongoing crisis of Covid19 is already taking many jobs beyond the possibility; part of it due to the crisis and part of it due to the unknown fear of financial and economic uncertainty. A business leader or an HR-Head is also a human being and will succumb to his/her memories and heuristics. So, some very talented candidates will also lose the job during this period, as it happened during 2008 US Subprime crisis.

But this time is not the time to sit and curse this challenge but this is the time to focus on your personal brand. As some talented people may lose job during this pandemic covid19 due to the fear of uncertainty, they will be picked up again much sooner than they can expect when economy picks up steam once again. They are just needed to stay focused on building their personal brand and communicating it to the target audience.

Many neuroscience researches says that human brain receives more than 11 million bit data but can process not more than 50 bit per second and that's why, many decisions are made even before blinking the eye. Robert Cialdiani, the bestselling author of “Influence” and “Pre-suation” has rightly said that we "pay" attention of something which is important to us because we trade it off with attention on something else which we don’t find important.

The first process of brand decision involves forming the representations of choice alternatives- that is, brand identification. This entails processing of incoming information, so that different options for choice are identified. At the same time, your customer needs to integrate the information on internal states (candidate requirement to fill the position) with external states (job description and requirements).

Humans are predominantly visual creatures and most of the information we receive is visual. Even if receive the information through other senses, we try to visualize the image of the product. Milosavljevic, Koch and Rangel in their research paper in 2011 had indicated that consumers can identify two different food brands and make their mind about which they prefer in as little as 313 milliseconds or roughly one third of a second. I am not saying that you are a food brand, but what’s wrong in becoming so desirable. Just think over it.

Recent studies in neuroscience indicate the four fundamentals of attention: 1) saliency filters or bottom up features 2) Top-down control 3) competitive visual selection; and 4) Working memory. First one is saliency filters or bottom up features, which means what you have in you to offer. Bottom up or saliency filters automatically select most important information from all the available information. So, if your elevator pitch, salient features of your personal brand is not fitting in with the memory and heuristics of your recruiter, then you will definitely not be picked up despite all your talent when they are in rush. Your cognitive load can’t hold too much of information at one time and so of your recruiter’s. Economy will start picking up the steam sooner than later. Human mind can’t stay in pain for too long; it will fight back to gain control over the situation. And when it will start picking up the steam, your recruiters will be in hurry to fill the position and then your bottom up information should be ready for them to pick you up among the crowd.

How can you do that:

1) Make of list of what you stand for

2) Make a list of your destinations

3) Connect the dots of what you stand for and what where are your destinations

4) Take help of your colleagues who can critically advise you

5) If possible, talk to your boss from either current or previous organizations and discus what you have prepared

6) Create a back story and start communicating it along with your check list on the regular basis with your target audience using social media, messaging apps, direct call and one to one meetings.

7) Another option will be to take help of manpower consultants and have been doing the work of profile creation and personal branding, because they have been working in the thick and thin of recruitment work.

One time final request; don’t waste your time on cursing the pandemic; it is what it is. When it will retreat, it will leave behind a fertile land, on which you can grow the tree of your successful life.

“Unlocking the Mystery of Human Nature- The Tell-Tale Brain” is a masterpiece, written by Dr. V.S.Ramchandran, who is quite rightly, called ‘The Marco Polo of neuroscience’.

Divided in nine chapters, this book takes us to the mysterious, intriguing but very informative journey of human brain. Trapped inside the hundreds of billions of neurons and tens of thousands of synapses among each of them lives the mysterious truth of our brain and our behaviour. Each synapses can be excitatory or inhibitory and permutation of all of it presents the possible brain states, which easily exceeds the number of elementary particles in the universe. This very statement unravels the truth of human mind and behaviour in front of me.

But this is just the beginning. ‘Phantom Limbs and Plastic Brains’, ‘Seeing and Knowing’, ‘Loud Colours and Hot Babes: Synaesthesia’, ‘The Neurons that shaped the civilization’, ‘Where is Steven? The riddle of autism’, ‘The Power of Babble: The evolution of language’, ‘Beauty and the brain: The emergence of Aesthetics’, ‘The Artful Brain: Universal Laws’ and ‘An Ape with a soul: How introspection evolved’ unravels the mystery of human brain and behaviour one by one. Being the student of Behavioural Economics and Neuromarketing, “Introduction, first chapter ‘Phantom Limbs and Plastic Brain’, second chapter ‘Seeing and Knowing’, fourth chapter ‘The Neurons that shaped the civilization’, sixth chapter ‘The Power of babble: The evolution of language’, eighth chapter is ‘The Artful Brain: Universal Laws’ and ninth chapter ‘An Ape with a soul: How introspection Evolved’ are my favourite.

It is a must buy for everyone who are in the field of neuromarketing, behavioural economics and neuroconsumerscience. Neuroscience as a subject I have not touched despite this book falling into that genre because it is not my domain. I took out only those things which I found relevant for myself.

You can also buy the book following this link: The Tell Tale Brain

As any Post Graduate in Marketing, core of my focus for the professional reason was always on consumer behaviour and their decision making process, which gradually took the shape of interest in Neuroscience, Neuromarketing, Neuroconsumerscience, Behavioural Science and Behavioural Economics.  

Latest in the series of books which I just finished reading is “Predictably Irrational: The Hidden Forces that Shape Our Decisions” by Dan Ariely, James B. Duke Professor of Psychology and Behavioural Economics at Duke University. Though this book was published twelve years back, but I became serious about this topic for last four years and I am taking one book and course at a time and I am glad I picked this book. 

Divided in thirteen chapters, this book is masterpiece which helps us to sneak behind the façade of rational mind and tells that there is nothing called ‘rational mind’ when it comes to decision making and that also financial decisions. We all are construct and reflection of our memories as we have perceived them, loosely tagged with each other defining our narrative and we don’t make any rational decision. Our decisions are captive of our biases and heuristics which are formed over a period of time by our gender, social, educational, economical and demographical set up and can be primed and anchored in one direction.  

All thirteen chapters, namely The Truth about Reality, The Fallacy of Supply and Demand, The Cost of Zero Cost, The Cost of Social Norms, The Influence of Arousal, The Problem of Procrastination and Self-Control, The High Price of Ownership, Keeping Doors Open, The Effect of Expectations, The Power of Price, The Context of Our Character Part I, The Context of Our Character Part II and Beer and Free Lunches having my experiments and findings conducted by Dan himself. 

This is a must read book for anyone interested in Behavioural Economics. You can buy book from Amazon following this link Predictably Irrational by Dan Ariely

“The Cave” is spiritual journey of super successful internet entrepreneur Alok Kejriwal. Starting with selling and exporting socks, which was his family business, he started his digital journey with www.contest2win.com and now runs www.games2win.com and www.koimoi.com. He sold China arm of his another successful venture www.mobiles2win.com to Walt Disney. His two companies www.contest2win.com and www.mobile2win.com pioneered the digital gaming and digital promotions in India. His first book “Why I stopped Wearing My Socks” is bestseller and won him C.K.Prahlad Best Business Book award.

Along with being a super successful entrepreneur, he is devotee of “The Great Mahavatar Babaji” and “Art of Living” teacher as well. He is trained “Sudarshan Kriya” expert. 

“ The Cave” is about his spiritual journey, from the foundation of spiritualism being laid in him in early childhood to his devotion to Mahavatar Babaji.

 Every chapter of this book (Eighteen chapters) is a revelation in itself and it is a guide to understand and make best use of divine guidance or subtle cues institution throws in front of us. This is not a religious or spiritual book, this is a life guide and emotional wellness book.

While reading the book, I was reminded my own journey of spiritualism which made me understand that science doesn’t mean laughing at what we don’t know, but accepting the fact that our collective knowledge is still a droplet in the ocean and we shall strive to know what we don’t know. When I was badly stuck in so far the worst challenge of my life, I found the successes I achieved at different points were completely dependent on someone else’s mercy and were defying the “Law of Small Number”. I was just playing my small role in something very big happening in my life. I am witness to many such events in my life which goes beyond the word ‘fluke’ or a ‘coincidence’ and establishes the presence of bigger power. 

This book is replete with many such examples of the life Alok Kejriwal. Each chapter is followed by “Connecting the dots” and “Exercise”, which will help you to use the subtle cues of life and make best use of it to achieve success in life.

I strongly recommend to buy this book. You can buy this book following this link The Cave- An Internet Entrepreneur’s Spiritual Journey